New Game! Let’s Play “Who’s the Biggest Asshole on ESMB?”!!!

There’s something about an Internet message board that brings out the asshole in people.

This is especially true on the Ex-Scientologist Message Board, where self-righteousness, ideological purity and uniformity of belief reign supreme in the bitter, protracted Internet War against Scientology.

Ever since Emma, or “Madame ESMB” left the message board and Ethercat took over as chief Peace-Keeper, things have improved for Ex-Scientologists there. Some of ESMB’s most vicious clodpoles are getting moderated regularly now, and even The Madame Herself was moderated quite a few times for her usual disrespect and ad hom character assassinations of other Ex-Scientologists there.

This is a very welcome improvement for a place on the Internet that will continue to attract Ex-Scientologists leaving Scientology and looking for a place to be helped and heard.

Ethercat has her hands full, that’s for sure.

Not everyone is an asshole on ESMB. Some ESMBers have continued to evolve and to grow and to keep things in perspective while still posting regularly there, and they are very valuable for the newer Ex-Scientologists who are arriving. These non-asshole ESMBers are the ones who can remain non-rabid in the face of someone giving their “wins” in Scientology. They can stay on the subject and discuss the vital information that was withheld from Scientologists while in the Church.

These non-asshole ESMBers don’t get terrified that someone may be positive and constructive about some of their experiences in Scientology, and some of the progress they made in Scientology on their own much longer spiritual path. And they don’t freak out that an Ex might want to remain in possession of the value they generated for themselves while being a Scientologist.

These ESMBers are actually quite valuable, and I hope their voices are allowed to grow stronger and stronger on ESMB. Constructive and positive growth – even spiritual growth – is possible after Scientology. And I believe should be encouraged and sought after by people who leave.

But there are others on ESMB who can not stay on the subject and who continually attack other Ex-Scientologists personally if they should mention anything at all positive or constructive about their experiences in Scientology – or if they should question the status quo. These are the people who interpret their own experiences in Scientology with the worst possible distortions and demand that everyone else do so as well. They will take hours to write the most personally insulting posts they can think of, completely ignoring what the discussion is about.

They find the most demeaning way to mis-characterize and tear others down there, and they continually let people have it with all they’ve got.

Here’s an exchange which has missed moderator attention by a vicious little ESMBer named Len Zinberg, who when he was a Scientologist was such a pinheaded fanatic that he participated in the attempt to destroy Paulette Cooper. As an anti-Scientologist, it’s clear that he has not learned a thing about his own penchant for fanaticism after Scientology. Poster Balthasar makes a reasoned statement about their thoughts on something posted to Tony Ortega’s blog:

Quote Originally Posted by Balthasar:

The Underground Bunker is starting to engage in witch hunt. Tony Ortega might want to watch more closely the quality of his free lancers work before publishing. Hopefully this was only a one off of his previous balanced and fair reporting style.

Ok, Laura Prepon said this:

“I’ve been a Scientologist since 1999 and I’ve never come across any piece of information that remotely is negative or derogatory in any way towards the LGBT community.”

How anybody can deduct from Laura Prepon’s statement that she would be a liar is beyond my sense of logic. Why would I assume immediately that she is lying? What kind of twisted thinking is that? She might as well say the truth and frankly, it seems to me that she is exactly doing that given the fact that celebrities are given the better version.

And then the writer from Underground Bunker goes on to further spin his article by asking hypothetical questions which “might have asked” but haven’t. The writer of the article resorts to “fictional” questions, which haven’t been asked to Laura Prepon as further “proof” that she would be a liar.

This particular Underground Bunker article is defamatory and trying to make a story out of nothing.

And so Len Zinberg, as “Churchill” weighs-in with an absolutely demeaning, completely off-topic, completely disrespectful, ad-hom personal attack:

“You really are an evil little shit stirring troll, aren’t you?
-Len Zinberg”

That’s it. That’s the extent of Len’s intellectual largesse. Notice the complete avoidance of the point made by Balthasar. Notice the inquisitor-like attack on anyone who might question the anti-Scientology groupthink from Tony Ortega’s blog. Notice what a vicious little prick of a response this is.

It kind of takes your breath away, doesn’t it?

I don’t understand how a moderator who is applying the rules at ESMB could let this one stand, but they did.

Another such ESMB asshole is HelluvaHoax! who has been posting to ESMB almost every day for the last 8 years. He seems completely oblivious that he is stuck in a distorted neurological rut, where disgust, contempt and ridicule rule his toxic mental and endocrine states so thoroughly that any positive personal traits he once had have been eclipsed and swallowed by the giant asshole he has grown on himself. He is oblivious to the fact that he has not progressed at all in his understanding and reconciliation with his own past since leaving Scientology and has become stuck in the worst possible interpretations of his own life experience.

He is a person who has not learned anything valuable from having been in Scientology. And if he has, he sure isn’t letting anyone else in on it.

Terril Park is a long-time Freezoner who is not shy about emphasizing what’s good in Scientology on ESMB, and even promoting the good that others have gotten out of it. He is continually attacked and dog-piled on ESMB, and he has always returned the most savage personal attacks with equanimity and poise.

How he does this, I do not know.

While I do not agree with everything Terril has to say about Scientology, I definitely admire the way he conducts himself in the face of the worst of ESMB assholery.

There is a great example of what I’m talking about recently on a thread that used to be titled “Laura Prepon is a liar about Scientology’s position on homosexuality and gay rights” which was separated and named “Terril Park & Speaking Out Publicly”. Doesn’t that new title just invite ad-hom on Terril Park?

Oh well. Here’s a winning example of an ESMB Asshole by HelluvaHoax!

Originally Posted by Terril Park:

Even the wonderful HH [HelluvaHoax] doesn’t grok me.

I generally agree with all criticism of Scn and
especially COS. I protested with anons for 7-8 years.

I never got ripped of personally, well maybe not much.

My benefits from Scn therapy were great. I do
understand that there were many failures and
catastrophes in this area. My experiences
were often nothing usefull happened. Fprd was brilliant
for me.Then the turning point was denying I was clear.
Got them to change their mind. Was traumatic so never
came back. Is clear valid|? Was taken as so in the FZ.
Seemed so to me. Could ext at will pre Scn. First time
I heard the concept many years ;later.

As a salesperson I was pretty immune to Reges.

Then in the FZ had wonderful gains.

I consider all psychotherapies as potentially

HH if you have the phone number of this women
please pas it on

HelluvaHoax wrote in response:

I get it Terril.

You read some bad sci-fi by a pathological liar who claimed to be a doctor and nuclear physicist. You’re been telling your wins on OT II for as long as I’ve been on ESMB (8 years). Got it.

You had huge and glorious wins on OT II, right? See? I remember. I get it.

You want others to have huge wins on OT II too, right? See? I am duplicating you, right?

I like you Terril. But you sometimes are very nutty. Because you want others to get spiritual gains from ridiculous sci-fi bullshit that a conman wrote. Over 40 years and you still haven’t figured out that OT II is a joke–and you are still acting the King’s fool.

But, something is amiss. Even the Court Jester knows that it’s all foolish fantasy just for entertainment. Somehow you have missed end of the joke–and in doing so you have become the punch line.

Everyone is born with talents and deficiencies, physical, mental or otherwise. Some people are born deaf or stutters or colorblind . Terril, as far as I can tell, you were born without a fully functional CRINGE REFLEX.

It’s like a GAG REFLEX but, instead, is supposed to happen when someone SAYS or DOES something that is so stupidly clownish that you immediately and involuntarily cringe.

Somehow you can read tales of OT II or Xenu (or whatever else you are having such magnitudinous “Spiritual Gains” from) and instead of cringing, you are having wins.

You are supposed to cringe when someone makes up stupid stories and tries to convince you that it really happened. Lacking a normal CRINGE RELEX you are rendered defenseless and gullible.

Hey, there is certainly a flair and charm about how you cheerily ignore all the evidence of fraud, treachery and a landscape littered with countless victims. I’d say your blithe dismissal of obvious buffoonery of Hubbard’s “Clearing” and “OT levels” is so exceptional (in it its lack of self-awareness) that you could very easily be the model for a lovable Dicken’s character.

Well, that would be cool, wouldn’t it? Except that Dickens isn’t writing a novel at the moment and what you are doing is PROMOTING a cruel hoax.

Oh, sorry, I mean promoting WINS.

Because, it really, really, really happened–all those very silly stories that Hubbard made up. Right?

Keep dreaming, man. No worries, we got this. Stay asleep.

There you go, just…sleep…sleep…sleep…sleep…sleep…sleep…sleep…


Ad hom attacks. Personal insults. Worst possible interpretations of Scientology which are so over the top they’re mostly false. Arrogant, imperialist demands that everyone sees Scientology the exact same way he does.

What an asshole.

On a message board which seems to breed so many assholes, it can be quite overwhelming to choose just one. But because he is such a shining and consistent example of so many traits that I’ve outlined in this post, I believe that HelluvaHoax! is truly ESMB’s Biggest Asshole.

This is why I nominate HelluvaHoax! as the Biggest Asshole on ESMB!

Who do YOU think is the Biggest Asshole on ESMB?

10 thoughts on “New Game! Let’s Play “Who’s the Biggest Asshole on ESMB?”!!!”

  1. Here’re my experiences with him.

    When he first got there, I took up his anti indie/FZ stance with him. It did not go well. Later, we made peace, or so I thought. He sent me friendly little PMs, we joked on the forum seemed fine for a while . Then he started appending exasperated snarky replies to some of my posts. Seemed out of the blue to me. Then one of the many many auto da fe threads – and HH posted very angrily about the Mark Baker and Claire Swazey show, indicating that I’d bullied him back in the beginning. I was shocked since I thought we’d made peace and I felt like it’d have been good to know he felt that way a lot earlier. All that friendly stuff then this-he blindsided me. He got more and more critical of me, mocking my posting style, and a couple times trying to get me to admit culpability in my having joined CofS back when I was in it. Except I was a Scn *child*. That’s how I got in. So *NO!* So I refused. There was another exchange where he was doing something similar and I’m like, no, you aren’t gonna back me into a corner. Subsequently, he rarely missed an opportunity to join in when people were talking about me.

    When I posted in this blog about how I’d (without announcing it; no goodbye posts or anything like that.) closed my account there, Lulu Belle linked to it in an ESMB thread and HH breezed right past the part where I’d said I spent a weekend in tears and wishing a truck would hit me and what had happened ( someone started screaming about a very vanilla post I wrote about Going Clear and jumped on a random thread after that and this mob of people started discussing me in a horrible way) to another incident there that I’d said was this additional thing on the same weekend that was a last straw thing. HH started mocking and complaining about that, making me think “oh, ok. It’s not ok for me to be there and it’s not ok with you if I leave. Nice catch 22.”

    So that’s my experience with him. I don’t need to categorize it or name it because the events themselves are quite telling.

    • You’re self-nomination is noted, but I would not nominate you. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you display any of the traits.

      A blip here and there does not count. You have to be consistent if you are ever going to make it to the status of ESMB’s Biggest Asshole.


      • I’ve been out of CSI for about fourteen years now. With the exception of two basic correspondence courses a few years ago. How I view Scientology and my involvement in it has gone through many changes in that time. From reading your blog Alanzo I get the notion that we have come to similar conclusions. One point you’ve made that I agree with is; in our process of studying Sci. on the net we shouldn’t allow other peoples experiences and opinions to warp our own memories and experiences in Sci. I’ve gotten a lot out of reading most of the blogs I’ve found on Scientology. However my warning to ex Scientologists would be; don’t join esmb. There is way to much negativity on that sight. After I joined esmb I quickly regretted it, and intentionally got myself kicked off. I also don’t like or read most of the comments on the Bunker, even though I like some of his articles. I’ve been away from esmb so long I can’t remember who was the biggest A-hole. My personal pet peeves are arrogant materialists and disrespectful never-ins. Never-ins usually get a pass on Sci. blogs bashing exes. To me that would be like a person who never had a drug history going on a recovery blog and bashing those recovering. Pretty gross.

        • Never-ins usually get a pass on Sci. blogs bashing exes. To me that would be like a person who never had a drug history going on a recovery blog and bashing those recovering. Pretty gross.

          Couldn’t agree more!

          What I think is disgusting is Exes who have dwelled too long in this kind of negative self-destructive environment on ESMB and the Bunker and elsewhere, who have internalized this bashing, and they bash themselves for having been involved in Scientology.

          It used to be that Churchies and OSA were the only ones bashing Exes on the Internet. But with the rise of Anonymous, there was a whole strain of messaging that continually sought to discredit Exes, and their stories from inside the cult, as being crazy or unstable or delusional. This messaging spread through Anonymous very quickly, and for the first time as an Ex I found myself having to defend against the same attacks that the Church had earlier waged against me, but now from “never-ins” who had arrived to the Post-Scientology Internet through Anonymous.

          I believe that Anonymous was heavily exploited by OSA, especially in the early days, as it provided perfect cover for them and LRH’s “Suitable Guise” technology. The OSA dead-agenting campaigns against Exes could now be run through Anonymous and people would think it wasn’t OSA. It was “Anonymous”.

          Two prominent Exes, Chris Shelton and Jon Atack, as well as the aforementioned ESMB assholes, have picked up this “Ex-Scientologists are Crazy” messaging and are running it on Ex-Scientologists now.

          And too many Ex-Scientologists are swallowing it and running it on themselves.

          It’s pretty sick, I think.



    • I know you really gave me a very bad time about something that did not exist anywhere tgat I could see. But since I was the forum scapegoat, coukd be you were just taking up the baton…

    • Most Exes do.

      It’s too bad that the assholes are keeping people away there. For almost a decade now, people have been leaving the Church and going to ESMB and telling their first-hand valuable stories about the history and development of Scientology before they are finally run off by the assholes of ESMB.

      It’s why moderation there is so important.

      The assholes should not be allowed to run everyone off.


  2. PS. I do realize that when I get myself involved in nominating who the Biggest Asshole is on ESMB, that it makes me an asshole, too.

    What can I say? I just can’t help it.



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