Alanzo on
Ethercat’s “Through The Door”
Friday, 27th September, 2002 08:39:19pm
Name or Alias: Alanzo
Training and/or processing level: Clear, Exec Status One, GAT Ethics Specialist, Data Series Evaluator
Org or location: N/A
Time involved in the Church of Scientology: 16 years
Recommended Website – Ron the War Hero
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1. How did you first become acquainted with the Church of Scientology?
I bought DMSMH in a used bookstore in Champaign, IL in May of 1984.
2. What initially appealed to you about scientology?
That it was practical. I read Dianetics and it kept telling me, over and over, that it was practical.
And so I loved how practical it was.
3. Were there problems in your life that you thought scientology would address?
Yes. I was a lonely, depressed college student fighting a dysfunctional family.
Scientology was going to fix all of that.
4. Did you see, experience, or hear about things that didn’t seem right while you were in the Church of Scientology? What were they, and what convinced you to set aside your feelings?
I was the Executive Director of a Mission in Central Illinois. I kept getting screamed at and accused of crimes by my senior. He would send me, on a moment’s notice, to New York or LA at my own expense, for ‘handling’ in order to get my stats up.
I was looking right at it, but I was unwilling to allow myself to see the Maoist Reconditioning techniques that I had studied in college. They were right there – being used right on me.
I knew that any doubts I had about what never seemed right were ‘natter’. And so I would look to find my overt.
And you know what? One was always there!
5. Why did you choose to stay in the Church of Scientology?
At first, it was because my auditing was stalled in the middle of the False Purpose Rundown Basic list for 8 years. During that time, I had convinced myself that any thoughts I had about leaving were ‘bank’ and that I shouldn’t make any big decisions until I finished my FPRD.
And so I trudged along, hoping one day to get the $15,000 or so that I needed to finish my FPRD so I wasn’t ‘keyed-in’ all the time.
Then I found out in my auditing that I had gone clear in a past life – that I was actually a Scientologist in a past life! My whole sense of self-identity became more and more wrapped up in being a Scientologist.
There is a reason that people experience a severe personality shift when they become Scientologists. Hubbard created the personality of a Scientologist and worked very hard to get you to cling to it, while also getting you to invalidate your old (true) self.
After all, your Scientology ‘self’ is the identity that will get you to states of beingness where nothing can strike you down, right? The more you identify with your new Scientology self, and the more you invalidate your old ‘wog’ self, the less your thoughts, goals and beliefs are your own.
That’s why I chose, and why most people choose, to stay in Scientology – even with all the crap they have to endure. It’s an self-identity shift.
‘May you never be the same again.’ LRH
6. Were you staff or public? If staff, was it at a mission or an org? Were you ever in the Sea Org or OSA? Which unit? If not on staff, did you ever volunteer to ‘help out’?
Public and staff. Never in the Sea Org because I had taken LSD. Had I not taken LSD, I would have joined the Sea Org in a heartbeat.
7. Why did you leave the Church of Scientology? Was there a “final straw”?
My first ten years in Scientology were spent knowing that if I just did the next course, or got the next auditing action, then it would all make sense. And all this stupid, frenetic crap I kept witnessing all around me would be what it always was supposed to be – a sane group of ethical beings who were creating a new civilization out of broken straws.
But after having worked intimately with so many OTs for so many years in LA, I began to see the justifications a Scientologist adopts to explain why no one displays any OT abilities, or why they themselves haven’t turned out to be the person they wanted to be by doing Scientology.
So when my reg at AO wanted me to go $25,000 more in debt for my OT III package, and then he suggested that I simply declare bankruptcy once I had done it, it all started to unravel. I knew at least 8 people who had declared bankruptcy – and they were all OTs!
At first, I *knew* that AOLA was squirreling finance policy. So, just like I was supposed to, I wrote it up all the way to Int Management. I showed everyone references.
The KRs were ignored and the references pushed aside. I was told that I was dramatizing ‘case’ and that, until I did OT 3, I actually had no self-determinism.
Here I was, having conquered the reactive mind and made it all the way up the Bridge to ‘Clear’, and I was being told that I had no self-determinism.
I was finally beginning to get the picture now…
By this time, I had put enough together, and had experienced it so much before, that I quit looking away from it. I quit justifying for others.
Now I know that the whole thing was set up to be just how it is. There is no huge ‘squirrel problem’ that you need to take responsibility for by ‘applying KSW’.
That’s just one more little hamster wheel LRH has set up for you to keep you huffing and puffing as a Scientologist.
After a while, I guess you just begin to wise up.
You quit justifying for others.
You quit looking away.
8. Do you think the Church of Scientology needs to change some of its practices? If so, what should be changed? How did those practices affect your life?
Scientology is not a religion. It is a psychological con created by a con man to con as many people for as long as possible.
That is actually all it is.
Hubbard read and regurgitated every psychological and religious idea he could get his hands on, packaged it with hypnotic trance, coercive and classic reconditioning techniques, and then sprinkled it on a Bridge and told you to reach for Total Freedom.
How do you trap a thetan? Put him in a round universe and tell him there’s an absolute in the corner!
I hate for it to be so simple. But it is. There is a reason that every book on the subject of cults since 1970 has a chapter on Scientology.
9. If the items you listed in the previous question were changed, would you consider rejoining or staying in the Church of Scientology? If so, why?
All the crush regging, the slave-like conditions, the totalitarian techniques, are all put there by Hubbard on purpose.
There is no fixing Scientology. There is only exposing it for what it is, and ensuring that anyone getting near it knows it, too.
In 10 years, Scientology will be as dead as Theosophy.
It is a small, fanatic, insignificant little cult.
10. Any additional comments you would like to make?
Any Scientologists reading this should read up on critical thinking (logic), cognitive dissonance, indentured servitude (actually look up slavery in the encyclopedia and find the section on indentured servitude) and Vistaril.
Why Vistaril? Because that’s the psych drug Hubbard was on when he died, as sworn to by his Scientology doctor – Eugene Denk, MD.
I know how ‘entheta’ all this is. I’m sorry.
But keep seeking to live with the truth. It’s what got you into Scientology, and it’s what will get you out of it, too.
The truth will set you free.