NOTE: This was originally posted a long time ago.
I still, to this day, believe it is one of the best pieces of advice to those who have experienced trauma, written by a true survivor.
An interesting article written about victims of abuse from Slate.com on February 8th 2014 by Samantha Gelmer, the woman who was sexually abused as a 13 year old by the film director Roman Polanski.
Her message, while written within the context of sexual abuse, applies just as strongly to anyone who has experienced religious and spiritual abuse.
Here’s a particularly strong quote from it:
…”If you are a victim who comes forward and resolution through the court provides a conviction, it will not undo what happened to you. You will still have to heal. If you come forward and there is insufficient evidence for a conviction, that is a reality you will have to face, and you can find a way to begin recovering in spite of that. If you are given the choice to not prosecute and spare yourself the trauma of a trial, highly publicized or not, you can make your choice, go forward with your life, and begin to heal. If you never come forward to the authorities, tell no one or only someone close to you, you can begin to recover and overcome what has happened to you. Under any of these circumstances, there will always be those who doubt you and nothing will erase what has happened to you. That does not have to stop you from healing.’
“The most important thing is to try to begin recovering from within. I don’t think you can heal from outside events happening. Waiting for the actions of others— be it the courts, your family, the opinions of those you care about, or the words of strangers—places you in a situation that you cannot control. And despite what was done to you, you do still have control.”