Announcing the Tom Cruise Award for Anti-Scientology Fanaticism!


Alanzosblog is currently accepting nominations for the Tom Cruise Award for the most fervent & fanatical Anti-Scientologist!

Tom Cruise Speech

He’s the Steely-eyed Recipient of the Medal of Valor. Our Winner Must Muster the Same Fierce Countenance!

Qualified Anti-Scientologists must be fiercely committed, intensely militant & thoroughly tribal.

They must be uncorrupted by critical self-reflection & self-examination.

They must be driven, their nostrils flaring.

Some examples of the initial nominees include:

John McGhee – for such a high level of certainty that he can physically harass Scientologists on the street, be successfully sued for it, and be completely unrepentent. Man that guy is a total Tom Cruiser!

Captain Billy D – He regularly speaks about a “Call to Arms” and that he will “wipe Scientology from history”. When confronted on his fascist, rights-denying rhetoric, he holds firm and accuses whoever questions him of being an OSA agent! THAT’S the Tom Cruise level of lack of self-reflection and critical self-examination we’re looking for !

Nominees for the Tom Cruise Award for Anti-Scientology Fanaticism must demonstrate the following qualities:

  • Uncorrupted by Critical Self-Reflection & Self-Examination
  • Fervently & Militantly Tribal – Never straying from the tribal narrative and constantly enforcing the anti-Scientology narrative and information control on others
  • Accepts nothing other than 100% Standard Anti-Scientology – and knocks out all instances of squirrel Anti-Scientology immediately!
  • Applies Instant-Attack Tech on all Namby Pamby, Panty-Waiste Dilletants! Foom! BAM! (hand cutting through the air like a sharp karate chop knife!)
  • Their rhetoric must constantly contain soaring generalities of murder & death, with breathless & hysterical accusations of felonies, and extremely vague tales of Scientology abuse – most from decades ago!
  • They must never – ever – recognize anything good in Scientology or in any Scientologist.
  • They must deny that Scientology is a religion, and deny the civil rights and freedoms of Scientologists.
  • They must be a Total Tom Cruiser!

Which anti-Scientologists do you know who fit the characteristics of winning the Tom Cruise Award for Anti-Scientology Fanaticism?

Nominations accepted in the comments section.

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Great list of quals. Spot on with every point.

However, I’m not sure the award should be called the “Tom Cruise Award.” To be sure, Cruise is pretty arrogant and a fanatic, but I haven’t seen that he fits the overall list. The one who fits it best is You-know-who, and maybe you should suggest he run this contest on his blog. 😉


I think you’re going off the deep end with this – schoolyard stuff

Miss Tia
Miss Tia

As I said on twitter, I nominate Dice and their socks–especially their sock ‘Mary’. But it’d just be Dice. They go to any lengths, including the socks who make up fake RL scenarios involving the ‘enemy’, when on a warpath. They badgered and harassed people to donate to a billboard campaign. They tell others to not speak to certain people. Dice, whoever, and whatever–man or woman–they are, is a real piece of ‘work’.

I agree with marildi’s points about the name of the award. Maybe the Keyboard Troll Warrior. Or Ultimate Basement Dweller. Or Tone 40 Fanatic. Just ideas. Ultimately it’s your blog and your award to name.